Why this matters
With life going at a very fast pace, it is often hard to stop and think of others in a deep and meaningful way. With Emotional Intelligence comprising our ability to recognise our own emotions and those of others, we have to cultivate the ability to both comprehend and relate to those around us and validate their feelings by our understanding.
When we start being empathy deficient in a team we find it difficult to be open and our flexibility suffers as well as we can’t allow for other points of view and experiences.
If we managed to raise the level of empathy we employ in our relationships with our team mates, the overall Psychological Safety of the team would be improved.
How to run it
- 1
Frame it as a “That time when we remember we’re all human”
- 2
Start with a warm up of definitions - “What is EQ”; “What is empathy”
- 3
Ask everyone to complete the following sentences (post them on the Miro board or the chat) and explain there will be no requirement to read them outloud:
- “The person I feel most empathy towards is …”
- “The person who understands me the most is …”
- “I feel like my feelings are being “heard” when …”
- “A time when I spoke from the heart and I felt I was truly listened to was …”
- “It’s hard to relate to others because …”
- “It’s easy to relate to others who …”
- “I feel just the same as …”
- “The person in our team I feel 'gets me' the most is …”
- 4
Describe the staring experiment:
- In 1997, Artur Aron's created his study, "The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness," putting forth the idea that a bond between two strangers can be created quickly through physical proximity and an exchange of specific personal information. In additional studies, Aron found that closeness and bonding can sometimes develop even more strongly through sustained eye contact.
- 5
Promise to engage in ostentatious or active listening (Google found this to be a critical skill for psychological safety) throughout every empathy moment. Call each other or yourselves out when you are not fully connected with what the other person is telling you
- 6
(if online) Resolve to make the exercise part of your next full team in person meeting
- 7
(if in-person) Pair and sit across from each other - choose team members you are least close to/work the least together - and have someone run a timer for 4 minute
- 8
Ask everyone to take 30 seconds to remember their happiest early childhood memory - their favourite activity, or trip, etc. - Everyone takes turns communicating what it is
- 9
Everyone takes turns communicating “one thing you didn’t know about me is …”
- 10
Everyone takes turns answering the question “My one big fear/ my one big hope is …”
- 11
Everyone to commit to have at least one 1-on-1 with another team member where they don’t talk about work at all in the next month
What next
Ask people regularly to remember this session to recall the point of remaining empathic.
Related resources
- Empathy And Communication In Psychologically Safe Teams (article)
- 4 minutes of silence can boost your empathy for others. (article)
- Insta-EQ - Just Add Heart (article)
- Communication and Empathy in PS Teams (video)